Forget
Now Playing: Metric
Topic: Rambles
I never left the impression with the little lady in the front row that I won't be coming back again, I am too old for this and too much I know has gotten me places that I never want to be. I am alone in this little crevice of the world I have pushed myself into. and I will scream bloody murder at the first person who attempts to dislodge me. I want to cry, the tears are waiting to fall, and there is a voice that tells me not to cry these tears that wish that nothing ever happened, I'm sick of being human, I'm sick of using these words to describe the vast emotions that are for the most part indescribable. I am alone and that is how it should be. I am alone, and that is what has been planned for me. I have accepted my place long ago, and as sad as I will pretend to be, I am content to be the friend, if not the friend the pathetic girl that no one likes. I used to try to make people like me, and I think basically that's what I need. I created this version of me to stave off the feelings that I used to have. I created this life that I am leading to threaten myself to think the way that people who are liked think. This plan backfired, and here I am on a Tuesday night, Wednesday morning crying and wishing I was being held.

Humdinger?
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Postal Service
Topic: Rambles
There is a time in everyone's life, I'm sure, where they want nothing more than to regress into the shape of thier childhood, even if it was scarred miserably, and especially if it was flawless. Like right now, what I really want to do is climb a rope ladder and run around a pirate ship at the Children's museum at Navy Pier. I just thought sbout that from my days as a child; how I would go there with my dad because he got in free because he worked on it when it was being built, and I had so much fun in the water works room and the 'pirate ship' and all I can remeber is the exhilerating feeling of the rough rope against the cool wood; surrounded by the delighted squeals of the other children; andI can never be there again. I can never play again. I have to be grown up and I have to eat salad and I have to own a cell phone and I have to constantly work toward my future and worry what other people think about me -- I applied for a job today. and tonight all I can think about is wanting to hide in a clubhouse.

Imagine
Now Playing: The Be-atles
Topic: Lyrics
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today, ah-ha

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in piece

You, may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
Nothing to kill or die for
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You, you may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Broke down
Well, Wish me luck. Show's tonight. I better be hugely funny or I got some shit to answer to. !?know what I'm saying?! I thought you would.

Casa paradiso awaits.

I just got a real cool new skirt. Where's it from, you ask? Well, I will tell you.

anthropologie.

Goodbye.

Maybe next time.
Now Playing: Metric
Topic: Rambles
Back Off, Baby! I got my Ghetto Blaster! Wait, that's not good enough. I need a toe ring and a joke book. Just what the two will do together, je n'sais pas.

possibly a very hilarious toe ring.

I will now retire to my budwah and read some communist literature. You know you can't seperate me from my communist literature. Some of you have tried very hard.

That's it for now, I'm all washed up. I think I'll start smoking again, just to make myself more interesting. I really want to be different, and it seems like doing the same thing as 500,000 people is the path to take.

Under Control
Now Playing: The Strokes.
Topic: Lyrics
I don't want to waste your time,
I don't want to waste your time.
I just want to say -
I've got to say,
We worked hard, darling
We don't have no control
We're under control

I don't want to do it your way,
I don't want to do it your way.
I don't want to give it to you, your way.
I don't want to know...

I don't want to change your mind,
I don't want to change the world.
I just want to watch it go by.
I just want to watch you go by.
We were yound, darling
We don't have no control
We're out of control

I don't want to do it your way,
I don't want to do it your way.
I don't want to give it to you, your way.
I don't want to know...

I don't want to change your mind,
I don't want to waste your time.
I just want to know you're alright.
I've got to know you're alright;
You are young, darling
For now, but not for long
Under control.




Kinda makes ya think, dunnit?

Excerpt # 1
"'The signifigant howl hoots in the night,"' said the visitor, trying to wring rainwater out of its robe.
"'Yet many gray lords go sadly to the masterless men,'" intoned a voice on the other side of the grille.
"'Hooray, hooray for the spinster's sister's daughter,'" countered the dripping figure.
"'To the axeman, all supplicants are the same height.'"
"'Yet verily, the rose is within the thorn.'"
"The good mother makes bean soup for the errant boy,'" said the voice behind the door.
There was a pause, broken only by the sound of the rain. Then the visitor said, "What?"
"The good mother makes bean soup for the errant boy.'"
There was another, longer, pause, then the damp figure said, "Are you sure the ill-biult tower doesn't tremble mightily at a butterfly's passage?"
"Nope. Bean soup it is. I'm sorry."
The rain hissed down relentlessly in the embarrased silence.
"What about the cage-ed whale?" said the soaking visitor, trying to squeeze into what little shelter the dread portal offered.
"What about it?"
"It should know nothing of the mighty deeps, if you must know."
"Oh the cage-ed whale. You want the Elucidated Brethren of the Ebon Night. Three doors down."
"Who're you, then?"
"We're the Illuminated and Ancient Brethren of Ee."
"I thought you met over in Treacle Street," said the damp man, after a while.
"Yeah, well. You know how it is. The fretwork club have the room Tuesdays. There was a bit of a mix-up."

Topic: Rambles
I'm really tired of homework, so I'm writing shit in here. Oh yeah. I wanna go to Canada. No reason in partic, but I'm sure I can think of one if I need to.

Do I need to?

Din't think so.

Well, looks like I have to go make reindeer. Happy holidays, bitches.

At least I'm not Cold.
Now Playing: The Strokes
Topic: Rambles
Oh, hey, just realized I have shit I should be doing.

Oh well, Trigonometry can wait, i suppose. I'm really saddened by the utter lack of things to read in this house. It's pretty heinous. I don't think that's how you spell heinous. I should probably look that shit up.

There's a part of The End of the End by the strokes where he is so incomprehensible, it's hilarious. I have a feeling I was supposed to get together with my friend Kate today. I also haven't taken my medication in three days. That could be why I feel like I have a panic Attack coming on. It's just around the bend, guys.

Tell me why I slept til ten today and I'm still tired.

I think it's the music that's making me sad. Certain times (after a certain chemical decrease) music is hotwired directly to my tear ducts. This isn't one of those times. I'm just letting you know that those times exist and can probably be expected around December 27th. Just Letting you know.

I suppose that this is the perfect time for me to be doing some motherfucking homework. You know why? Because I'm going for straight A's this Semester. Just watch me. Just Fuggin' watch me.

Soy una Perdedora
Now Playing: Beck
Topic: Lyrics
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
butane in my veins so i'm out to cut the junkie
with the plastic eyeballs
spray paint the vegetables
dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
kill the headlights and put it in neutral
stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
got a couple of couches sleep on the love seat
someone keeps sayin' I'm insane to complain about
a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
don't believe everything that you breathe
you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
so shave your face with some mace in the dark
savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park

Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(double-barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdedor i'm a loser baby,so why don't you kill me?

Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare
banned all the music with a phony gas chamber
'cuz one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
one's got on the pole shove the other in a bag
with the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
the daytime crap with the folksinger slop
he hung himself with a guitar string
slap the turkey neck and it's hangin' on a pigeon wing
you can't write if you can't relate
trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
and my time is a piece of wax
fallin' on a termite who's chokin' on the splinters
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(get crazy with the cheeze whiz)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(drive-by body pierce)

Spoken:
(I'm a driver I'm a winner things are gonna change I can feel it)

Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
[repeat]
(Sprechen sie Deutches, baby?)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(Know what I'm sayin'?)